Harry Stack Sullivan, the personality psychologist, in his interpersonal theory of psychiatry, suggests that interpersonal interactions and social relationships shape self and personality. This means that fulfillment of interpersonal needs become significant for healthy development of self and personality. When interpersonal needs are not fulfilled, it leads to psychosocial threats, namely, loneliness and isolation.
This
idea of Sullivan fits well with modern descriptions of loneliness. Loneliness
has been described as the unpleasant feeling of being unable to form
satisfying, long-lasting relationships (friendships, romantic relationships).
It has been described as an unfulfilled need for intimacy – the person is
completely desirous of having good friendships and other relationships, but is
unable to do so.
Loneliness
gives the feeling of a lack of social support. Social support is the feeling or
experience of being cared, helped, esteemed, and valued by others, and that one
belongs to a supportive social network. It helps to reduce stress, anxiety, and
depression. Loneliness – a lack of close relationships – makes the person feel
unwanted, which naturally, gives the feeling of having little or no social
support and not belonging to a supportive social network.
A
lack of social support and an unfilled need for intimacy means that the
individual experiencing loneliness has been unable to develop social ties and
social bonding. A lot of people living in urban areas, specifically metropolitan
cities have been found to have similar experiences. In the current scenario, in
urban settings, people are achievement oriented and have a consumerist lifestyle.
The
idea of the lifestyle of people in urban settings can be appositely described
in terms of the tripartite model of self. The tripartite model of self suggests
that a person is represented by three different aspects of self, generally one
being more dominant than the other two. These three aspects are the individual
self, relational self, and collective self. The individual self is associated
with personal agency and goal-directed behaviour. The relational self is
associated with significant others, and involves interpersonal relatedness and
interdependency. The collective self is associated with group affiliation and
adhering to group norms.
Largely, in urban settings, it has been found that individuals are more inclined towards their individual self as compared to relational self or collective self. Such people are highly individualistic in their lifestyle. Their goals are self-oriented rather than being group-oriented and they are relatively independent of relational and group bonds.
Being
inclined to the individual self makes them more self-oriented instead of
relationship-oriented, gradually leading to developing a lack of social ties. This
plays a role in the extent to which one has a sense of community. Social ties
has been found to be associated with the development of a sense of community –
a lack of social ties leading to a low sense of community.
Sense
of community or a psychological sense of community is the strength of bonding
that individuals have with community members. It involves a feeling of
similarity and interdependence with others. Having a sense of community gives
the feeling of belonging to a larger social structure.
An
inclination towards the individual self, resulting in a lack of social ties
leads to a low sense of community. It can therefore be said that, in urban
settings, the experience of loneliness is due to the individual not being able
to develop a high sense of community.
This
can be further explained by looking at the four elements of sense of community
(proposed by psychologists, David McMillan and David Chavis), which are membership, influence, integration and
fulfilment of needs, and shared
emotional connection. Membership is the extent of personal investment and
belongingness towards the community. The urban lifestyle, including an
inclination towards individual self, develops a lot of uncertainty and
instability in an individual. The person due to lack of social bonding and low
self-disclosure does not feel a sense of emotional safety, which further leads
to a lack of personal investment and a low sense of belonging.
The
second element of sense of community is influence. Influence is about exerting
power over others, which occurs due to being part of a cohesive group. An inclination
towards the individual self naturally does not make the person be a part of a
cohesive group, and therefore, has a low sense of influence.
The
third element of sense of community is integration and fulfilment of needs,
which involves community involvement. When there is community involvement then
it leads to integration and needs fulfilment. Again, the urban lifestyle
involving being individualistic and achievement-oriented leads to a very
superficial involvement with the community, leading to very little integration
and fulfilment of needs.
Finally,
the fourth element of sense of community is shared emotional connection, which involves
deep bonding with community members. Being highly self-oriented leads
individuals not being able to develop deep bonding within the community.
Therefore,
a low sense of membership, a low sense of influence, little integration and
fulfilment of needs, and a lack of shared emotional connection all lead to
limited social interactions, which lead to an unfulfilled need for intimacy and
a lack of social support, eventually leading to the feeling of loneliness.
An
urban lifestyle or urbanism, which involves an inclination towards the individual
self, makes people develop a low sense of community, which can be said to be a
major cause behind the feeling of loneliness. This can be seen as the reason
why loneliness, nowadays, in urban settings, has become a very common problem
that people are facing. More and more people are suffering from the feeling of
loneliness, it has become highly prevalent.
The
fast-paced lifestyle of urban settings does not make people realize that they
have been unable to develop strong social bonds. As time passes by, the low
sense of community and a lack of belongingness causing them to experience
loneliness starts developing an emptiness and a sense of meaninglessness within
them, giving rise to a state of confusion, making them to lose any sense of
purpose in life.
The
long-term effects of such emptiness can be deleterious for the social,
psychological, and emotional wellbeing of the person. This prolonged sense of
emptiness caused by severe loneliness gives the person a feeling of being lost
in the crowd. Loneliness, in this manner, especially in urban settings, has
become a social concern rather than an interpersonal problem.
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